he stands in the middle of his newly cleaned room and looks around. he looks at the bookshelf filled with books that he's never read. he looks at his desk he never uses. he looks at the little safe where he keeps all his old notes. he looks at his bed. he looks around, and screams. and then he runs. he runs out of his room, down the steps, and out the front door. he runs and runs. he runs past his first school. he runs down and down the streets where he has spent his whole life. he runs past the school where he made a complete fool of himself all too many times. he runs past the block where everyone sits and tries to act cool. the block where he has consumed so much caffeine that it should have killed him. he runs past all of this and keeps running. he runs past the school where he finally got a lif. the school where he learned about what real life was. and keeps running. he runs and runs and runs. he runs through traffic knowing the cars will stop but wishing they wouldn't. he passes people he used to know, and wonders what happened. he keeps running. is legs start to feel like clay. he keeps running. he sees faces he thought he knew, but he can't remember any of their names. every one he passes, every single person, smiles at him and calmly watches him run by.as if nothing is wrong. none of them react. he screams as he runs, just to get a reaction. nothing. smiles. run run run. he passes an old lady, she smiles at him. it seems to him he really should know her. he stops for a moment, the frustration and lack of oxegen. "why are you just smiling?! can't you see something's wrong with me?" "no young man, you are just fine, don't be so hard on yourself" and the smile. more screaming, something else in the scream, something a bit more...primal. keep running. his veins start pumping fire instead of blood, yet he keeps running. he doesn't know where he's going, all he knows is that he needs to run. he runs down a street he's been down before. turns, keeps running. the air in his lungs aren't doing their job anymore. he stumbles, picks up the pace again and keeps running. he turns another corner, and up a familiar driveway. over to the yard, and colapses in the hammock next to the house. i wake to a face so wonderful it almost makes me cry again. she wasn't smiling. in fact, she was worried. "you are the best thing thats ever happened to me." i tell her, because its true. as my eyes focus more, i notice more things around me. first, its raining. lightly. second, the moon. look at that magnificent moon. what a wonderful thing. third, i'm cold. "i'm cold." i know, she tells me. she leads me upstairs, and wraps me in an old, handmade blanket. it warms me instantly. then she wraps her arms around me, and holds me tightly. i begin to cry once again. crying is much more peaceful with out screaming to interupt the sobs. she holds me tighter. "you have to be happy" she says. happy. i think about that, and the more i think about it, the more i realize that..."i am happy." "then why are you crying?" 'because i'm happy.'